Fanning the Flames of My Faggotry*

* Bonus points if you recognized this reference from one of Margaret Cho's concerts.


I saw this on Drew's blog, and had to try it out myself:

I'm a Hunky Faggot! Oh hello. I am completely gorgeous. You may touch me for a nominal fee, although I’d prefer that you were at least as hot as I am. I was genetically engineered for pleasure. Mine.

What kind of Faggot are you?
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.... and upon seeing those results, I fell out of my chair with laughter.

So I went back and tried it again, and this time:

I'm a Fabulous Faggot! I’m the epitome of over the top breathtakingly extravagant faggot chic. I dance like a big queer demon, although I am more concerned about being seen than actually enjoying myself. I probably wear feathers. Jesus Christ.

What kind of Faggot are you?
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... and again, the results couldn't be more inaccurate. Undeterred, I tried again:

I'm JASON! Whilst not really a faggot in the true definition, this is only a minor technicality. I love to burrow in the jiggling corpulence of the morbidly obese, and I have an unhealthy attraction to ginger hair. My sexuality is constantly being questioned and science will probably never be able to discern exactly what it is that I suffer from. I smell a bit like onions.

What kind of Faggot are you?
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Who the hell is Jason? One last try before I give up and decide this quiz is not for fags like me:

I'm a Macho Faggot! There’s nothing I like more than a well polished codpiece, some leather chaps, and a place to park my beast. I probably watched too much Full House when I was younger. Also I have a strange penchant for misshapen moustaches. MACHO MACHO MAN. I WANNA BE A MACHO MAN.

What kind of Faggot are you?
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All right, that does it. I clearly don't fit any of these descriptions. Clearly the guy who came up with the quiz deals in narrow stereotypes into which I do not fit. I am unique! I refuse to be neatly categorized! I am a hole without a peg! Wait, that one sounds totally wrong....