Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Important Post! Read Immediately!

Do credit card companies actually believe that putting "IMPORTANT INFORMATION - OPEN IMMEDIATELY" on the envelope of useless balance transfer offers actually makes people open their mail any faster? Unless you've had your credit card for a grand total of, oh, a month, you know what it is, and you know that there's nothing urgent in there. Do they really think we get these envelopes and think, "Oh no! Are they cancelling my account?" or "Damn, did I miss that payment?"

Of course, this technique is self-defeating because on those rare occasions when the companies really do need you to look at an "important" piece of mail, you probably won't do it at all, because by now you've been trained that you don't really need to "open" anything "immediately," despite their exhortations.

Similarly, how stupid do spammers think we are? Do they really think I'm going to get excited about an opportunity to "earn" a take on a $22.4 million jackpot just by forking over my checking account information? Or that some hot lonely housewives want to fuck me? (Little do they know.) And does anyone really think that purchasing "hot small-cap stocks" based on an online tip (one in which zeros and O's are deemed interchangeable) is a good idea?

That's the same logic as popup ads: Let's annoy them into buying our product!

3 comments:

Steve said...

Whenever I get crap like that in the mail I don't recognize, I toss it... immediately. I know someone who sends it back as un-deliverable. HAHAHAHA!

ericorbit said...

take that credit card shit, rip it up into little pieces and shove it all back into the pre-paid envelope and mail it right back to those fuckers. i hate junk mail.

Anonymous said...

I really hate it when i get advertisements sent along with bills that are sent to me. You know what I do with them? I send the advertisements right back in the envelope, along with my payment. That'll be sure and learn them! Actually, no it doesn't.