Friday, November 04, 2005

Going Down?

I bumped into the guy in my building on whom I have a random crush last night. I was getting in the elevator to go out and meet a friend; he was on his way to the vending machine. We chatted on the ride down a bit. We're friendly with each other, but honestly, I don't think he knows my name. Which is fine, because frankly, I've forgotten his, too (though I think it might be Patrick; but then I'm relatively sure I'm wrong).

I mentioned how he never did invite me up to his place for dinner at which point he advised that he's actually not a very good cook. Hm. Oh well. In retrospect, I realize I should have just invited myself over for a movie or something sometime, but I suppose there's a limit to how annoying and pushy I can be in one night.

Besides, I have a growing suspicion that he might just have a boyfriend anyway.

But sometimes it's fun to flirt.

In fact, sometimes I think it's more fun to flirt when you know your target isn't that interested. If this guy in fact has a boyfriend, it makes flirting easier, because you know there's a line that won't get crossed. How strange is that? I have more fun flirting when I know before the fact that it won't go anywhere. Futility of purpose makes the game more fun. I've also been known to flirt with (a) straight boys [this requires incredible finesse], and (b) gay boys who clearly are not even remotely attracted to me.

Once, at a gay beach, a friend (goodlooking, hot, sexy) and I (boring, not thin, nonheadturning) were playing Paddleball when the ball went flying off in a wayward direction, where it was recovered by a gentleman in a beach chair. Both my friend and I approached him in an effort to retreive the ball. "Sorry about that!" I said. "Yeah, can we have our ball back?" my friend asked.

The guy looked directly at my friend and said, "That'll be $10."

I looked directly at the guy, winked, and said, "I'll take it out in trade."

The ball almost took on a life of its own as it came flying back into my hands. I happily skipped back over to where we were playing and launched off another volley. Wanna get out of a conversation with a guy who's clearly not into you? Tell him you'd have sex with him. He'll run.

Heck, fact of the matter is, I don't think I'd know what to do if I actually flirted with someone and they actually were receptive to it. I'd probably just let loose some sort of "humina humina humina" and back away.

Of course, there's always the chance that this is exactly what the guy expected me to do....


katie said...

You should have told him you were a good cook, and then invited him over.

WARNING- I'm the worst at picking people up and giving advice, so you might want to ignore that comment. You never know though.

I'm with you though, I like flirting better when I know there is no chance. It makes me feel more relaxed.

duane said...

you should be careful, this is beginning to sound like you don't think you could get those guys you flirt with, when I can definitely bet that is so not true. With that being said, I think that I am more of a flirt because of the opposite reason (than they have a BF, and it won't go anywhere). I am flirty when I have a BF, because I am just flirty, and there is nothing going to happen, so it is all in good fun. I am not very flirty when single, cos I don't do it that well then. Oh the tragic truth in that!

Oh well, either way... at least you have more balls than most people and actually flirt! Keep at it! Your obvious charm and wit will land the right one. You don't want to waste your time on the others anyway!!!!

Steve said...

I don't think I've ever been all that good at flirting, which is probably one of the (many) reasons I'm single. *sigh* You seem quite flirt savvy, and I could use some pointers!

Matthew said...

"I think it's more fun to flirt when you know your target isn't that interested. If this guy in fact has a boyfriend, it makes flirting easier, because you know there's a line that won't get crossed."

I'm exactly the same way, Dennis.

Of course, I'm attached these days, so it's not like I'd expect the flirting to go anywhere, but I'm still much more apt to flirt with someone I find attractive if they're not attracted to me (either because they're straight, or because they don't find me attractive).

I've found that a lot of guys like to flirt, regardless of whether or not any attraction is present, but if I actually sense that the person does like me in that way (a rare occurrence, indeed), then I immediately become a nervous, stammering fool. This is the case both when I was single, and now.

Not sure why that is. Low self-esteem?

Oh well.

W said...

Nice story.

mysterygirl! said...

I can relate-- I like flirting when I know absolutely nothing is going to happen. Or maybe it's just a way I excuse myself for flirting with everyone... hmmm...