Tuesday, July 19, 2005


I get an email from a friend of mine: "Do I remember correctly that you maintain a blog?"

My quick-and-dirty response: "Yes."

She responds a few minutes later: "So how does one get to your blog?"

I take a deep breath... and ignore her email.

I have this thing against telling my friends the URL to this blog. I've posted my reasons before (and Randy doesn't even seem to be big on blog-writing or -reading anymore), but the long and short of it is I prefer random internet strangers reading this blog than friends. This way I can write about friends without it getting back to them.

A few hours later, I get an IM: "So you never told me how to get to your blog."

Me: "You don't read blogs anyway. You think they're a waste of time."

Her: "Yeah, but people keep talking about blogging, and I wanted to see what it was about especially since that opportunity came up to write for one."

Me: "Oh, I could point you to a ton of blogs you can check out for style and flavor." I list some for her.

A pregnant pause in the IM traffic ensues. I'm not entirely sure if it's because we're both busy "working" (I use the term loosely) or because she's pondering why I won't tell her my blog URL.

Her: "You write stuff about us on your blog, don't you?"

Me: "Yes. Mwahahahaha!"


I arrive to Screen on the Green last night. All kinds of socializing before the movie starts, including introductions to people I haven't met before, when suddenly someone starts up: "Wait... Dennis!... I..."

I arch my left eyebrow slightly, a tad curious as to just what he's getting at. It's my way of nonverbally saying, "Yeeeeeees?"

"I read your blog!" he announces triumphantly.

Uh oh.

I stammer. "N-n-nuh... no you don't."

"Yes I do! Your last post was about Harry Potter!"

I suppress the urge to tell him that the post was, in fact, explicitly not about Harry Potter, since this would only confirm my hand in the post. "I'm sure some 85% of the internet posts in the last 48 hours were about Harry Potter!"

"Oooo, wait, you also had a post about Hurricane Dennis! Yeah, I remember!"

Humina-humina-humina. All I can think is that I'm screwed. There's no ducking around this. Although this is a new guy, my friends are here too, and in one fell swoop, New Guy is capable of giving away the address to my little cyberspace cul-de-sac. Little beads of sweat, forming independently of those created by the swelteringly humid conditions, take shape on my forehead.

Yet all I can get out of my mouth is: "Nnnnno I didn't." Somehow I doubt I was very convincing.

"Oh, come on!" he declares. "How many gay Asian men named Dennis! live in this city and maintain blogs?" By now my friends have picked up on this conversation. Even though they're trying to act like they're involved in their own conversations, I can tell they're listening.

"Uh.... Surprisingly many!" Quick-witted I am not.

"Please," he presses on. "You're More Than...."

... which is when I'm finally able to cut him off. "So do you blog?"

He gives me the title of his blog, which I have surfed by from time to time. Honestly, I'm not a big fan of it (hence its absence from my blogroll), but this is my way out.

"That's you?!?" I screech like a little schoolgirl. "That's so cool!"

From there we manage to digress into other stuff, and eventually we even execute a Conversational Musical Chairs, moving on to new people and new discussion topics.

But now my friends have a source. I may have to take drastic measures. Anyone know how I can put a hit on a guy for relatively cheap?


purpletwinkie said...

The quasi-anonymity is the best part of blogging. I would keep playing with her mind..."oh, THE THINGS I write about YOU!..." :)

Matthew said...

This post was hilarious. You wrote it very well.

I've entered into this loop where I will tell someone (friend, family member, or even local political types who talk about local blogs) about my blog, and then not too long after feel a sense of dread that my cloak of anonymity has been lifted, and people I may not want to read the blog now know about it and know who I am. I then vow never to tell any 'real life' person again.

Of course, a few months will pass, and then the cycle will - for whatever dumb reason on my part - repeat itself.

katie said...

I have told a few people about my blog, but I'm with you, I want to keep the option open to write about them!
It just makes me uncomfortable to think that they could be reading.

Chef Dean said...

I'm confused, and admittedly could use a drink, but....

If SOTG Guy (Screen On The Green Guy) READS your blog and you had that conversation, and then he returns to the blog (say, for example, today) and reads it again... won't that just serve as one gigantic helping of confirmation for him? AND what's more, he'll know you don't really like his blog.

Or am I just confused (again)?

Matthew said...

Chef Dean,

You're assuming that Dennis! actually cares what SOTG Guy thinks.

Dennis! said...

Chef Dean: Uh... yeah, I guess that would have taken something called "forethought" on my part. Oh well. Maybe I'll see at the next SOTG.... :-P

anne said...

You know your friends will ask him... Send us a private e-mail when you finally move sites, all right?! ;)

Steve said...

I really don't tell anybody I have a blog, and for the most part, don't really care who finds it... 'cept my Mom! She (my whole family, actually) knows I'm a big 'mo, and even though there's nothing really over the top on mine... yikes! And yeah, even though I have written some pretty trashy things about some people, more likely than not, the douchebags deserved it.

Vince said...

For a ticket to Prague, I'll take out anyone your so desire.

Dennis! said...

Well let's just say that if I move to a new URL, I'll be taking my blogroll with me... so if MTML vanishes, just check to see who's linking to you. :)

Oh, and just in case, today I googled various combinations of my name, the word "blog," "DC," and gay and asian, and I don't show up in the first few hit results. Woo hoo!

p.p. said...

Of the handful of people who know I have a blog, only three know the URL. At times, I think that's 3 too many.

"Uh.... Surprisingly many!" lol!

Since you just informed this person that his blog is garbage, I think he'll want revenge.

scribeswindow said...

It's not often a blog entry gets you to laugh out loud.


My blog started as a personal diary. I didn't think anyone would read it. Slowly, but surely, I got comments from strangers. Then I started liking these guys... and the blogger community. So, now I look at my blog as my Public Relations place, my diary, and my immortality. When I finally do go ... I'll always be out here... in cyberspace.

duane said...

See, I would never write something about someone that I wasn't willing to say to their face; no matter how bad it was. That way, I can keep it real!