Thursday, July 28, 2005

Match's Matches

I'm on match.com. (Yeah, I know: ugh. It was a lark.)

From time to time, I still receive emails from them providing me with profiles of men in my area who might be what they call a "mutual match": based upon each of our responses to certain questions, we might be compatible (he'd like me, I'd like him). It tells you quantitatively how "matched up" you probably are, too: you and Guy #1 are a 83% match; you and Guy #2 are a 71% match.

I'm proud to announce that one guy on today's list is an 86% match with me. Who is this man I'd be so lucky to meet?

Me. Match.com just matched me with myself.

I suppose I could do a Brad Pitt/Edward Norton thing on myself. That would be interesting, if a bit weird. And who am I kidding, I am certainly no Brad or Edward. (Though Tyler Durden was hot.)

Apparently, I only match myself by 86%. I'm not the ideal man for me. I guess that's understandable given that there are lots of things about me that I don't care for. Harsh, but true: I shouldn't be dating myself.

Though I do all kinds of other things with myself. (Perv.)

12 comments:

kat said...

that is HI-larious.

anne said...

Unbelievable.

Steve said...

I was hoping that link was your profile. Damn. Anyway, I like (NOT) the 'auto matches' they find for me on 365Gay.com. Each and every intro is the same. Something along the lines... 'if you'd like a bit of fun...' Every one.! WTF?!? Are you in the UK, and you're asking me if I'd like a 'bit of fun?' Oh, and these are the ones that don't have pics posted, either. Maybe I could match myself, too. I can be a bit of fun (with) myself.

MoDigli said...

Very funny! Just goes to show you the old adage is true: You must first learn to love yourself before you're ready to love another!
LOL! :)

Jon said...

I'm always paranoid that somone I know is going to run across my profile on those sites. I've seen a ew from people that I know, and learned a few things that I wish i didn't know!!

duane said...

This is so funny. I cannot believe that they didn't even bother to look and see that it was the same profile and stats. Whoa.

katie said...

Ha ha. That is great. Only 86 percent? Hmm.

Dennis! said...

Modig: Yeah, but I'm sure not a lot of people love themselves 100%. Well, except maybe Tweet, who doesn't get turned on by the people she sees out at the club, but by herself when she gets home.

Jon: I have had some friends find my profile. They laugh at me, but thankfully, there's nothing (save for an old and therefore slightly misleading photo of me) on there which is too embarrassing....

Duane: You would think they would notice that they're sending the "JohnDoe123" to "JohnDoe123"! But ah well. Thanks for coming by my blog, and come back soon! (I'm checking out your blog later today....)

Matthew said...

Too funny. :-)

cmhl said...

that is funny. at least you could skip past the "getting to know you" phase, haha!

ThatGuy said...

Right after my ex left me (citing that we had nothing in common after 4 years together) I posted a very honest profile on Match.com. About a week later, I got an email with potential matches-featuring a cute guy who was an 89% match! The pic looked vaguely familiar and he sounded like my perfect match - and then I realized who it was.........my ex!!! He was using a pic from when we first met - and he was 40 lbs lighter!

My disgust soon turned to sublime vindication when I realized that me receiving this email meant that he had received a similar email listing me - the person he claimed he had NOTHING in common with anymore-as HIS perfect match.

wayan said...

I've had the same mutual match thing happen to me - I dated this hottie that I met off match for a while before the fun stopped.

Now, every time I get a mutual match from them, there she is, looking back at me with her beautiful & sexy eyes. Damn how I wish I could move her 85% match outta my mind.