Friday, May 19, 2006

I'm Not Talking About Celery Here


I'm turning into a stalker.

***

I bumped into Cute Neighbor Guy recently as he was exiting a bar and I was entering. We've been doing this flirty dance for a while now, chatting each other up when we see each other in the hallways. We've exchanged names and apartment numbers on numerous occasions, but rarely have we done anything beyond that. (And, truth be told, I don't think he even remembers my name or apartment number for more than 30 seconds.)

So we said hi to each other on the street yet again, continuing our little virtual dance:

Him: Hey! How are you?
Me: Fine, I can't believe you're leaving just as I'm heading in!
Him: Well, I'm already buzzed and I have to get up early tomorrow....
Me: I think you're just trying to avoid me. We keep talking about getting together for dinner or something, but it never happens....
Him: I am not trying to avoid you!
Me: What apartment you in again?
Him: [gives apartment number] And you are ... [guesses completely wrong number]?
Me: No. [gives correct apartment number]
Him: Okay, yeah, so we should get together!
Me: You know now I'm just gonna stalk you right? Show up at your door unexpected and just say "Hey! What are you doing tonight?"
Him: Yeah, yeah, sure!
Me: You think I'm kidding....
Him: No, really. Bring paper though and leave me a note with your number in case I'm not there.
Me: Okay... don't say I didn't warn you.

Several angst-filled days later ("should I or shouldn't I??"), I went up to his apartment armed with a note that said "How about Wednesday or Sunday?" and leaving my phone number.

A normal person would have just slipped the note under the door and run. I knocked.

As luck would have it, he was home. I tried to be cheerful and non-stalker-y, but let's face it, I showed up unannounced to his apartment. There was a very low chance that the conversation would not be awkward.

So we made tentative plans to get together on Sunday. He called on Sunday to cancel, by the way.

Now I'll have to go back up there and try again.

***

The spectacular view from my office window is of the building next to mine. A thin alley separates my building from this one. That building is quite stark; along the facade facing me there are windows to the far left and windows to the far right, but none in between, making most my view one of solid ... well, whatever this material is. Thankfully, though, I'm not too far from the coveted corner office so I can see into the window bank at the rear of the building.

There's a guy in a tiny little office -- probably comparable to mine, now that I think of it -- who generally works with his shades pulled open. From the back/profile of his head, and the rest of his body, he seems reasonably attractive. At the very least, he's a Monet.

From time to time I catch myself looking out my window at him as he types, as he talks on the phone, and he reads some random document open in front of him. Earlier today I saw him in a suit and tie (unusual for him) and with a colleague (also in a suit and tie) -- I presume they had some important meeting to attend together.

What bums me out now is that, having seen him in his white dress shirt and yellow tie earlier today, I notice now that he's dressed in a brown or black tee shirt. What this means, of course, is that there was a possibility that he changed out of his suit in the office, and I missed it.

This upsets me greatly.

***

Perhaps I am in need of help.

5 comments:

anne said...

Get a fake leg cast, and invite Cute Neighbor Guy over to your office for some proper peeping.
It's foolproof apparently...

MoDigli said...

your neighbor sounds like a big fat cornFLAKE! I think it's cute that you stopped by just like you said you would. Did he have a good excuse for cancelling?

Ryan said...

Is that Leeza Gibbons?

Oh, what were you saying? Oh, about the cute neighbor guy. Yeah, I think you should totally fuck him. I mean, shit, you know where he lives. I don't care if you guys live down the same hall, exchanging addresses is a sex invite. :)

p.p. said...

I would not go up there again. Let him come to you. You don't was to scare him off by seeming (cough) desperate (cough).

katie said...

So why did he cancel?
I only wish I had another office to stare into (with a hot guy in it please) right now I've got the view of an abandoned lot. Fantastic.