When Thesauri Go Bad

So I got an email from a client today which, I can only presume, is an attempt to thank me and my boss for a decent job in settling his case. I'm quoting the relevant language (more or less the entire email) below.

. . . I received my check today. I really appreciate the deference your team gave us. Its hapless I'm unable to revere all of you face to face. I believe that our relationship has been pithy, and affable during my resurgence. You are my implicit family, I hope to visit you on my vacation next June. In hindsight, you were sagacious, and this promoted a win/win aplomb for our denouement.

Huh?

I particularly enjoy having our attorney-client relationship being described as having been "pithy."