Wednesday, March 24, 2004

She's a Man, Baby!

I hereby take back my post of March 3, 2004, in which I proclaimed myself a "big ol' girl." I don't know how to link back to that post directly, so I'll just leave it to the reader to find it. It was only 21 days ago, so it can't be that difficult.

I am NOT a big ol' girl.

At least, not all the time.

There are many times when, in fact, I too like to take control and act to "fix" things. And I get frustrated when the people I'm trying to help don't appear to be listening to me.

My friend Debra quintessentially seems to have drama revolving around her. Sometimes I think she manufactures drama just to have some excitement in her life. Sometimes it's drama that wouldn't even be drama if she would stop making such a big deal of it. In the past, I would have suggested avenues to head off the drama. Unfortunately for Debra (and me), usually my suggestions involve a radical shift in thought patterns which Debra is usually unable or unwilling to entertain. (For example: "The guy isn't calling you back? Oh well. Plenty of other fish in the sea.")

And it frustrates me to pieces when she complains to me about things neither she nor I have control over, then obsess about them.

I have a similar reaction to Lifetime ("Television for Women, and Gay Men"). Here's my do-it-yourself version of a trailer for every Lifetime movie ever made:

"Next on Lifetime. A woman is in trouble. Deep trouble. Watch her suffer and cry and get the shit kicked out of her for two hours before she finally wakes up, decides to take control of her life and get out of her terrible situation."

Whether it's an abusive husband, or -- wait, it's pretty much always an abusive husband, isn't it? -- the women in Lifetime movies need to get a grip. I'm not sure I understand why such movies are supposed to be "empowering" to women. Anyone who doesn't watch the last 10 minutes walks away with the impression of a powerless, snivelling woman who's fine with being treated worse than the family pet.

So yes, there are definitely times when I, like my friend Mark, will feel this overpowering urge to "fix" the problem rather than listening to others bitch about it.

But then, at least when I suggest changes, the changes I suggest are within the power of the individual. Moving may be within my power. but the greater good is served by granting District citizens full voting rights.

Repeat link of the day:

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