Thursday, October 13, 2005

Things That Make You Go "Ow"

I never got around to blogging about it, but I recently took up a "Yoga Fundamentals" class at my local yoga center. Once a week, for six weeks now, I've been trying to get my body to do things that I normally wouldn't expect it to. For the most part, it's a good workout, somehow both strenuous and relaxing at the same time. It's not easy, especially for fat and out-of-shape people like me. Although I'm enjoying this fundamentals class, I'm thinking I won't be able to continue doing yoga in anything other than a ultra-beginner's session -- which will likely translate into "not at all." I should stick to traditional stuff like running or weight training or typical gym classes.

For your entertainment, here is running list of things that tend to go through my head during a typical yoga session:

- This instructor is so chill, it's cool. She's fun.
- "Table pose" is basically a disciplined form of doggie-style. So it's nice when there's a guy in front of me as we do this.
- Ow.
- You want my arm to go where?
- It's hot as balls in here. Does the fan not work at all?
- Ow!
- How does she do that?
- I KNOW you don't think I can do that!
- Ow ow ow ow ow ow!
- Am I the only one sweating drops big huge drops here? I feel like one of these days that sweat is going to be replaced by drops of blood from some kind of random hemorrhage. That would be gross.
- At least the "jocks" in the class aren't doing great at this either. So I don't feel so out of it.
- Taking that step forward just now, I landed in a ginormous puddle of my own sweat drips. Ew. This is why renting yoga mats is kinda gross -- for the guy after me. Ha!
- Now this pose I can do. Lying flat on your back and just relaxing. I just hope I don't snore.
- Or thinking inappropriate thoughts causing me to start giggling uncontrollably.
- Is it dinner time yet?


duane said...

At least your mind is getting a workout!! You are so funny. I have to say, that I have similar thoughts when I am on the stairmaster, but mine usually consist of; what am I going to eat when I get home; man I wish this was over; my legs hurt!; 15 more minutes, WTF; etc. So I am with you! I wish they would invent a work out where you didn't have to do anything, and could still lose weight. I would sign up TODAY.

Steve said...

I thought it was supposed to help you relax. Your mind is going a mile a minute. That's funny.