Compound Problems

My computer cancer has metastasized.*

What used to be a cute little message saying "Dude, your slave drive[**] is dead," is now full-on stopping my system from working. Instead of politely informing me that my drive should be replaced and then proceeding to boot from the right drive, now I get a message that says "Man, that drive is whacked! Press DEL to run setup, bitch!"***

Of course, when I hit DEL, I get to the "setup" screen, which does me no good whatsoever, because I have no clue what settings need to be changed in there, if any.

I suppose I could (and should) just bite the bullet and yank the damn drive out of my machine, but I've been getting home after dark lately, and it's hard to do something like that when there's little to no good lighting in my living room. My living room is comparatively dark because I still haven't fixed my kitchen lighting fixture yet, and the floor lamp which used to illuminate my living room now has to do double duty for kitchen and living room.

Oh, in the meantime, I'm told that I can't update the virus definitions on my machine anymore, because my "subscription" to Norton Antivirus has run out. Renewing my subscription will cost $25. Upgrading my antivirus software altogether will cost some $30. Hmmm. What a racket. I'd like to just go ahead and upgrade, but that software will be useless to me if I do decide to replace my system altogether, and go with new laptop (with some virus protection already installed). It would look so cute on my computer table, and the lack of the tower would make the thing look so much less cluttered.

Decisions, decisions.

* Props to me: I wasn't sure how to spell this word, so I guessed, and when I checked dictionary.com, I found that I was right.

** The phrase "slave drive" -- the other drive being called the "master drive" -- both perturbs me and makes me giggle at the same time. The former reaction beacuse of the racial implications; the latter because of the kinky sexual ones.

*** Okay, it didn't actually say "bitch."