I Need Uglier Friends

So my best friend from high school, Mark, is visiting DC for part of this week with his boyfriend, Jay. I took the day off on Monday to hang out with them. We decided to go for a tour of the capitol (among other things) and, having gotten there early and received our tour pass for about an hour later, we decided to go get coffee/breakfast at the Rayburn House Office Building nearby.

After a relatively uneventful meal, Mark got up to attempt to bus his tray, and Jay went off in search of a restroom. When Mark returned and sat with me, a random staffer (apparently from Connecticut, I later found out) randomly said to Mark, "Are you from Cape Cod?" -- a reference to Mark's t-shirt. "No," replied Mark, "I just got the shirt when I visited."

I asked the man if he was working for a Massachusetts delegate, but no, he represented Connecticut. He asked where "we were all" from, so Mark told him he was from Seattle. I eventually 'fessed up that I live in the area.

Apparently this guy had winked at Mark while he was bussing his tray.

How is it that I have friends who can get hit on in such a relatively non-gay setting as the frigging cafeteria of a Congressional staff building? I mean, I've heard that the Hill is teeming with gay staffers and all, but they actually try to pick up random guys in the caf? I can't even get cruised if I were to wear a big sign on my head that said "Big ol' homo, gay men welcome to chat me up".

Of course, Mark is cute. I, on the other hand, am chopped liver.