Gay Beach Weekend

So I finally got a gay weekend in at the beach. My friends Josh and Ben decided to take a weekend up there to attend a fundraiser for a gay Virginia delegate, so I decided to tag along. Yay! After two weekends at Dewey with my straight and no-so-fag-haggy girlfriends, I was ready for a weekend finally with gay people, in gay bars, on the gay beach.

A few things I picked up this weekend:

1. Trying to look "cool" in front of a beach full of gay men is well-nigh impossible when you fall over flat on your ass, and then your back, after failing to catch a football. Bonus stupidity if you're still fully dressed, including shirt and sunglasses, at the time.

2. Flirting with a guy who clearly doesn't ever want to see you naked is a good way of releasing your hostage paddleball without paying a ransom. (That sounds a lot dirtier than it really is.)

3. Being in the company of cute boys is an effective -- if not terribly ideal -- way to get into a conversation with other cute boys. "Hi there, you're cute...... Oh, and so are you, I guess."

4. If you've got body image issues and end up keeping your tank top on at the beach all day, be prepared for some mad tan/burn lines.

5. Telling a random guy that his Asian-character tattoo means "kung pao chicken" is funny. Not a great way to flirt, but funny anyway.

6. Long-term crushes will never work out, so don't even try. Let it go.

Notice that, unfortunately, "a man" is not one of those things I picked up this weekend.