Stranger in a Not-So-Strange Land
Scene: Me, walking from the Metro to Whitlow's on Wilson, to meet some friends for brunch.
Players: Me, and some random African-American girl no older than 14. We are walking in opposite directions, toward each other.
[Dialogue]
She: Excuse me, hey.
Me: [Looks up from cell phone, a text message having caught my attention]
She: Hey... hey, you speak English, right?
Me: Uh, NO. [Rolls eyes]
[End.]
***
It's not like we were in Seven Corners or something, where you could go the entire day and conduct your entire business without ever speaking English. And it's not like I look like I just stepped off the boat.
I think the scene could have been better if I had actually answered the question with a long English response to the effect of "no." Maybe something like "Nah, never quite picked it up in school. My English skills are pretty bad. Diction, grammar, enunciation, all never caught on. Sorry... bitch."
But then brunch was delightful.
3 comments:
You should have affected a British accent:
I am terribly sorry young lady but my English is not up to muster! Pip Pip!
No, give her racism right back. Be like, "No, I'm triflin'." Come on. lol.
Oh, I just came up with this response which would have been great, seeing as I had my CELL PHONE in my hand at the time:
She: You speak English, right?
Me: [to her] Uh, NO. [into phone] Yeah, so I'm on my way to meet some people for brunch. How was your weekend?
Damn me and my slow mind which is incapable of quick and witty retorts!
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