Wednesday, January 03, 2007

The Worst Part About a New Year: Reset Deductibles

A play in ridiculously few lines, let alone acts.

Dramatis personae: Pharmacy customer (played by me); pharmacy guy-behind-the-counter (kinda cute, actually); pharmacist.

Date: January 2, 2007, approx. 8:30 p.m.

[Curtain Up.]

[Customer is standing at Pharmacy Counter looking to retrieve some prescription medications.]

Customer: Picking up, please. Last name is [redacted]. [Spells name.]
GBTC: Two prescriptions?
Customer: Yes, please.

[GBTC scans Customer's CVS Card and then scans the bar codes for the two prescriptions. Customer reaches for his credit card. Preparing to swipe his card, he looks down to see the total charge for his two medications.]

Customer: Holy crap! $120?!?
GBTC: Looks like it. Yeah, you know, new year comes around and the deductibles go back up again....
Customer: Holy crap man!
GBTC: [Shakes head] They'll get you one way or another....

[Customer swipes his credit card and signs the digital screen. Upon approval, a very long cash register receipt spews forth from the machine.]

GBTC: [Briefly looking at receipt] Well, you also get $2.50 in CVS ExtraBucks!
Customer: [only slightly sarcastic] Oh, well, I'm doing my happy dance now! [Does not actually do anything resembling a dance.]
Pharmacist: [filling out other orders all the while] [grins to herself]

[Curtain Down.]

Sadly, this is the coolest I'm going to get in terms of a "New Year" post. But Happy New Year all!


p.p. said...

wow. Did you tell that story to anyone else? No? Don't. ;)

Drew said...

I had almost that same experience at CVS the last time I had a prescription filled.

Except instead of making a witty retort, I just sobbed quietly as I punched in my PIN.

Rich said...

Bravo! [Applause]