Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Celebration of Love

This weekend I had one of the best vacations I've ever had in the States. (Unfortunately, nothing at all can really compare to the vacations I've taken in Paris and Rome. Man. But I digress.) I spent the weekend in Cape Cod, Massachusetts. My friends Jessica and Jason got married.

Jessica and Jason are really the perfect couple. Their senses of humor totally mesh, and each complements the other's personality. Watching them exchange their vows was wonderful. They were able to affirm their love for one another in front of a slew of friends and family and carry on with their lives together in a public celebration of their love for each other.

I was there. I was celebrating with them. They're good friends of mine. And they're happy together.

And yet, of course, I had to spend the entire weekend taking special care not to make any political statements about their special day. I know other gay people who boycott the nuptials of their heterosexual friends on the theory that it's a heterosexist institution, so celebrating and supporting it -- even for friends -- would be somehow fundamentally wrong. I can't agree with that. It's still an institution worthy of celebration -- so much so that gay people want to be a part of that as well.

Jason and Jessica would have actually understood if I harbored any outrage toward the discriminatory granting of marriage rights. They're good liberals and they believe that gays and lesbians should have the rights they got to enjoy so readily in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. We actually exchanged a quick comment about the fact that they were permitted to apply for a marriage license without proof of residency in the state. But I didn't want to rain on their day.

Watching J&J's wedding -- affirmed by both their families and so many of their friends -- was, as most weddings are, a wonderful experience. Two people in love, declaring their love publicly, being happy together. That's what it's all about. An affirmation of their lives together. It's just that simple.

And there's really no logical or sane reason that gays and lesbians can't or shouldn't be permitted to take advantage of this institution too.

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